Worst & Best Two and a Half Men Episodes/List

Title: Two and a Half Men
Genre: Sitcom
Series: 12
Episodes: 261
First Transmission: 2003-2015

A jingle writer’s hedonistic lifestyle comes to a halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

 

Episode Rankings

Use your mouse to hover to see the corresponding episode title –
[updated sep 2020]

 

Notes

*The Standard Deviation (SD) of the ratings is a measure of how much spread there is in the numbers. The median represents the middle value of the ratings

SD for Two and a Half Men = 1.03

Average Rating for Two and a Half Men = 7.39

Median value of the ratings = 7.9

The top-rated episode differs from the mean-rated episode by 1.37 standard deviations.

The bottom-rated episode differs from the mean-rated episode by 3.47 standard deviations.

Top-Rated Episodes:

#147 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. (2009)
#134 The Two Finger Rule (2009)
#113 Fish in a Drawer (2008)

Bottom-Rated Episodes:

#180 Big Girls Don’t Throw Food (2011)
#179 People Who Love Peepholes (2011)
#261 Of Course He’s Dead: Part 1 & 2 (2015)

 

Full Episode List

# Episode Year
1 Pilot 2003
2 Big Flappy Bastards 2003
3 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell 2003
4 If I Can’t Write My Chocolate Song, I’m Going to Take a Nap 2003
5 The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump 2003
6 Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? 2003
7 If They Do Go Either Way, They’re Usually Fake 2003
8 Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful 2003
9 Phase One, Complete 2003
10 Merry Thanksgiving 2003
11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor 2003
12 Camel Filters and Pheromones 2004
13 Sarah Like Puny Alan 2004
14 I Can’t Afford Hyenas 2004
15 Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick 2004
16 That Was Saliva, Alan 2004
17 Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats 2004
18 An Old Flame with a New Wick 2004
19 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don’t Remember You 2004
20 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark 2004
21 No Sniffing, No Wowing 2004
22 My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet 2004
23 Just Like Buffalo 2004
24 Can You Feel My Finger 2004
25 Back Off Mary Poppins 2004
26 Enjoy Those Garlic Balls 2004
27 A Bag Full of Jawea 2004
28 Go Get Mommy’s Bra 2004
29 Bad News from the Clinic 2004
30 The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance 2004
31 A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana 2004
32 Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers 2004
33 Yes, Monsignor 2004
34 The Salmon Under My Sweater 2004
35 Last Chance to See Those Tattoos 2004
36 A Lung Full of Alan 2005
37 Zejdz z Zmoich Wlos\\u00f3w 2005
38 Those Big Pink Things with Coconut 2005
39 Smell the Umbrella Stand 2005
40 Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth? 2005
41 Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam! 2005
42 It Was Mame, Mom 2005
43 A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise 2005
44 I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey 2005
45 A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On 2005
46 That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother 2005
47 Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab 2005
48 Does This Smell Funny to You 2005
49 Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts 2005
50 Principal Gallagher’s Lesbian Lover 2005
51 Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark 2005
52 Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs 2005
53 We Called It Mr. Pinky 2005
54 Hi, Mr. Horned One 2005
55 Sleep Tight, Puddin’ Pop 2005
56 That Voodoo That I Do Do 2005
57 Madame and Her Special Friend 2005
58 Something Salted and Twisted 2005
59 Santa’s Village of the Damned 2005
60 That Special Tug 2006
61 Humiliation Is a Visual Medium 2006
62 Love Isn’t Blind, It’s Retarded 2006
63 My Tongue Is Meat 2006
64 Ergo, the Booty Call 2006
65 The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer 2006
66 The Spit-Covered Cobbler 2006
67 Golly Moses, She’s a Muffin 2006
68 Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro 2006
69 And the Plot Moistens 2006
70 Just Once with Aunt Sophie 2006
71 Arguments for the Quickie 2006
72 That Pistol-Packin’ Hermaphrodite 2006
73 Working for Caligula 2006
74 Who’s Vod Kanockers 2006
75 The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress 2006
76 A Pot Smoking Monkey 2006
77 A Live Woman of Proven Fertility 2006
78 Apologies for the Frivolity 2006
79 Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head 2006
80 Release the Dogs 2006
81 Corey’s Been Dead for an Hour 2006
82 Kissing Abraham Lincoln 2006
83 Walnuts and Demerol 2006
84 Castrating Sheep in Montana 2007
85 Don’t Worry, Speed Racer 2007
86 That’s Summer Sausage, Not Salami 2007
87 My Damn Stalker 2007
88 Young People Have Phlegm Too 2007
89 I Merely Slept with a Commie 2007
90 It Never Rains in Hooterville 2007
91 Smooth as a Ken Doll 2007
92 Aunt Myra Doesn’t Pee a Lot 2007
93 Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous 2007
94 Mr. McGlue’s Feedbag 2007
95 Anteaters. They’re Just Crazy-lookin 2007
96 Prostitutes and Gelato 2007
97 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom 2007
98 Media Room Slash Dungeon 2007
99 Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo 2007
100 City of Great Racks 2007
101 Putting Swim Fins on a Cat 2007
102 Help Daddy Find His Toenail 2007
103 Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room 2007
104 Is There a Mrs. Waffles? 2007
105 Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids 2007
106 Kinda Like Necrophilia 2007
107 Meander to Your Dander 2008
108 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh 2008
109 The Soil is Moist 2008
110 Winky-Dink Time 2008
111 Rough Night in Hump Junction 2008
112 Look at Me, Mommy, I’m Pretty 2008
113 Fish in a Drawer 2008
114 If My Hole Could Talk 2008
115 Waiting for the Right Snapper 2008
116 Taterhead Is Our Love Child 2008
117 Pie Hole, Herb 2008
118 Damn You, Eggs Benedict 2008
119 The Flavin’ and the Mavin’ 2008
120 A Jock Strap in Hell 2008
121 It’s Always Nazi Week 2008
122 Best H.O. Money Can Buy 2008
123 Pinocchio’s Mouth 2008
124 The Mooch at the Boo 2008
125 He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited 2008
126 The Devil’s Lube 2008
127 Thank God for Scoliosis 2009
128 I Think You Offended Don 2009
129 David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie 2009
130 I’d Like to Start with the Cat 2009
131 She’ll Still Be Dead at Halftime 2009
132 The ’Ocu’ or the ’Pado’? 2009
133 My Son’s Enormous Head 2009
134 The Two Finger Rule 2009
135 Hello, I am Alan Cousteau 2009
136 Above Exalted Cyclops 2009
137 Sir Lancelot’s Litter Box 2009
138 Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth 2009
139 Baseball Was Better with Steroids 2009
140 818-jklpuzo 2009
141 Whipped Unto the Third Generation 2009
142 Mmm, Fish. Yum. 2009
143 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator 2009
144 For the Sake of the Child 2009
145 Give Me Your Thumb 2009
146 Untainted by Filth 2009
147 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. 2009
148 Captain Terry’s Spray-On Hair 2009
149 That’s Why They Call It ’Ball Room’ 2009
150 Warning, It’s Dirty 2009
151 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste 2010
152 Yay, No Polyps 2010
153 Crude and Uncalled For 2010
154 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche 2010
155 Tinkle Like a Princess 2010
156 I Found Your Moustache 2010
157 Ixnay on the Oggie Day 2010
158 Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave 2010
159 I Called Him Magoo 2010
160 Gumby with a Pokey 2010
161 This Is Not Gonna End Well 2010
162 Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud 2010
163 A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer 2010
164 A Pudding-Filled Cactus 2010
165 Hookers, Hookers, Hookers 2010
166 The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel 2010
167 Twanging Your Magic Clanger 2010
168 The Crazy Bitch Gazette 2010
169 Springtime on a Stick 2010
170 A Good Time in Central Africa 2010
171 Ow, Ow, Don’t Stop 2010
172 Dead from the Waist Down 2010
173 Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy’s Dead 2010
174 Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup 2011
175 Lookin’ for Japanese Subs 2011
176 Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak 2011
177 That Darn Priest 2011
178 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt 2011
179 People Who Love Peepholes 2011
180 Big Girls Don’t Throw Food 2011
181 Nine Magic Fingers 2011
182 A Giant Cat Holding a Churro 2011
183 The Squat and the Hover 2011
184 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets 2011
185 Thank You for the Intercourse 2011
186 Frodo’s Headshots 2011
187 A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes 2011
188 What a Lovely Landing Strip 2011
189 One False Move, Zimbabwe! 2011
190 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion 2012
191 A Possum on Chemo 2012
192 The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack 2012
193 Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy 2012
194 Not in My Mouth! 2012
195 The War Against Gingivitis 2012
196 Palmdale, Ech 2012
197 Grandma’s Pie 2012
198 Mr. Hose Says ’Yes’ 2012
199 Why We Gave Up Women 2012
200 The Straw in My Donut Hole 2012
201 Oh Look! Al-Qaeda! 2012
202 I Changed My Mind About the Milk 2012
203 A Big Bag of Dog 2012
204 Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt 2012
205 You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For 2012
206 That’s Not What They Call It in Amsterdam 2012
207 Ferrets, Attack! 2012
208 Avoid the Chinese Mustard 2012
209 Something My Gynecologist Said 2012
210 I Scream When I Pee 2012
211 One Nut Johnson 2012
212 Give Santa a Tail-Hole 2012
213 Welcome to Alancrest 2013
214 Grab a Feather and Get in Line 2013
215 Run, Steven Staven! Run! 2013
216 Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It 2013
217 Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby 2013
218 Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries 2013
219 The 9:04 from Pemberton 2013
220 Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon 2013
221 Bazinga! That’s From a TV Show 2013
222 Another Night with Neil Diamond 2013
223 My Bodacious Vidalia 2013
224 Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped 2013
225 Nangnangnangnang 2013
226 I Think I Banged Lucille Ball 2013
227 This Unblessed Biscuit 2013
228 Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank 2013
229 Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003 2013
230 Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants 2013
231 Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie 2013
232 Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room. 2013
233 Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer 2013
234 On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer! 2013
235 Tazed in the Lady Nuts 2014
236 Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball. 2014
237 Bite Me, Supreme Court 2014
238 Three Fingers of Cr\\u00e8me de Menthe 2014
239 Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin 2014
240 How to Get Rid of Alan Harper 2014
241 Welcome Home, Jake 2014
242 West Side Story 2014
243 Lan mao shi zai wuding shang 2014
244 Lotta Delis in Little Armenia 2014
245 Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot 2014
246 Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead 2014
247 The Ol’ Mexican Spinach 2014
248 A Chic Bar in Ibiza 2014
249 Glamping in a Yurt 2014
250 Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight 2014
251 Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. 2014
252 Alan Shot a Little Girl 2014
253 Sex with an Animated Ed Asner 2014
254 Family, Bubl\\u00e9, Deep-Fried Turkey 2014
255 Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey 2015
256 Here I Come, Pants! 2015
257 For Whom the Booty Calls 2015
258 A Beer-Battered Rip-Off 2015
259 Boompa Loved His Hookers 2015
260 Don’t Give a Monkey a Gun 2015
261 Of Course He’s Dead: Part 1 & 2 2015