Title: Steptoe and Son
Genre: UK Sitcom
Runtime: 30 mins
First Transmission: 1962-1974
Harold and his elderly father, Albert, work as rag-and-bone men and live in squalor – but Harold has high ambitions.
Best Episode [ S7 Ep6 ]
Divided We Stand – Harold wants to re-decorate but cannot agree on a colour scheme with his father so they agree to put a partition down the living room and have their own space on either side. There is even a coin-operated turnstile put in the hall which each must feed to pass through common ground. Unfortunately when the house catches fire the turnstile severely limits the firemen who do not have change for it.
27 March 1973
Worst Episode [ S5 Ep2 ]
A Winter’s Tale – Harold has booked a skiing holiday to Austria and intends to go on his own – his father is much annoyed. He has rigged up a makeshift ski slope in the back yard on which to practice but Harold has an accident and ends up with his leg in plaster. Albert does not want the ticket to be wasted and takes the Austrian holiday himself, leaving Harold to recuperate in Stoke-on-Trent.
13 March 1970
Full Episode Guide
Blue episodes rated above par.
Brown episodes rated below par.
#1 The Offer (1962) [30m]-
Harold gets a job offer, but Albert knows just how to keep him at home.
#2 The Bird (1962) [30m]-
Harold has met a woman, Roxanne, so Albert needs a way to chase her off.
#3 The Piano (1962) [30m]-
Harold gets the offer of a piano, but unfortunately, it is in a top-floor flat.
#4 The Economist (1962) [30m]-
Harold buys a huge job lot of sets of dentures.
#5 The Diploma (1962) [30m]-
Harold enrolls on a course to be a television repairman.
#6 The Holiday (1962) [30m]-
Albert wants to go to Bognor Regis for their holiday, but Harold wants something different.
#7 Wallah-Wallah Catsmeat (1963) [30m]-
Hercules the horse is ill, and Harold gets very depressed.
#8 The Bath (1963) [30m]-
Harold’s plan for a bathroom upsets Albert.
#9 The Stepmother (1963) [30m]-
Harold is not happy when Albert announces that he intends to marry widowed sweet-shop owner Emma Marshall – he will have to move out.
#10 Sixty-Five Today (1963) [30m]-
It’s Albert’s sixty-fifth birthday.
#11 A Musical Evening (1963) [30m]-
Harold plans a musical evening with some old 78rpm records, Albert has other plans.
#12 Full House (1963) [30m]-
Harold brings home three friends to play cards, but Albert suspects that they are cheats.
#13 Is That Your Horse Outside? (1963) [30m]-
Harold falls in love with the wealthy Dorothea, but Albert reckons she is just looking for a bit of rough.
#14 Homes Fit For Heroes (1964) [30m]-
Harold is planning to join the crew of a sailing ship, but it means that Albert will have to go into an old peoples’ home.
#15 The Wooden Overcoats (1964) [30m]-
Harold brings home a cartful of coffins.
#16 The Lead Man Cometh (1964) [30m]-
Harold and Albert buy some lead from a dodgy character but then the police come knocking.
#17 Steptoe a La Cart (1964) [30m]-
Harold brings home a French girl called Monique, and Albert is a great hit with her as he speaks fluent French.
#18 Sunday For Seven Days (1964) [30m]-
Steptoe and Son decide to go to the movies but are split over which film to see
#19 The Bonds That Bind Us (1964) [30m]-
Albert wins £1000 on the Premium Bonds and is intent on spending it himself.
#20 The Lodger (1964) [30m]-
Albert advertises for a new lodger, so Harold moves out.
#21 And Afterwards At (1965) [30m]-
Harold almost ties the knot, but his bride gets cold feet, much to the joy of Albert.
#22 Crossed Swords (1965) [30m]-
Harold picks up a valuable porcelain figure and tries to sell it at auction.
#23 Those Magnificent Men and Their Heating Machines (1965) [30m]-
Harold decides to use some radiators he has picked up to plumb in a new heating system – disaster results.
#24 Siege of Steptoe Street (1965) [30m]-
The Steptoes are besieged by bailiffs.
#25 A Box in Town (1965) [30m]-
Harold brings home his new girlfriend but Albert cramps his style.
#26 My Old Man’s A Tory (1965) [30m]-
Harold hopes to be the new ward’s Labour candidate.
#27 Pilgrim’s Progress (1965) [30m]-
Harold and Albert fly off to visit Albert’s former battlefields.
#28 A Death In the Family (1970) [30m]-
Hercules the horse dies and Albert takes to his bed.
#29 A Winter’s Tale (1970) [30m]-
Harold is planning a skiing holiday in Austria, but Albert objects as per usual.
#30 Any Old Iron? (1970) [30m]-
Harold makes a new friend, Tim Stanhope but Albert reckons he is gay.
#31 Steptoe and Son – and Son! (1970) [30m]-
Harold is strangely pleased when he finds that he may be a father.
#32 The Colour Problem (1970) [30m]-
Albert wants a new colour TV set.
#33 T.B. or not T.B.? (1970) [30m]-
Albert and Harold go to the hospital for x-rays.
#34 Men of Property (1970) [30m]-
Steptoe and Son’s lease is about to run out, so they visit the bank manager.
#35 Robbery with Violence (1970) [30m]-
Albert accidentally knocks over Harold’s china cabinet, so he stages a robbery to cover his tracks.
#36 Come Dancing (1970) [30m]-
Albert teaches Harold ballroom dancing to impress his new woman.
#37 Two’s Company (1970) [30m]-
Albert reveals to Harold that he has asked a woman to marry him. Harold discovers that the woman was an old flame of his.
#38 Tea for Two (1970) [30m]-
Ted heath is coming to tea and Labour voting Harold is not pleased.
#39 Without Prejudice (1970) [30m]-
Harold wants to move up in the world, so they go to view a semi-detached property.
#40 Pot Black (1970) [30m]-
Harold purchases a huge snooker table but discovers that Albert is a much better player than he is.
#41 The Three Feathers (1970) [30m]-
Harold buys a commode at a bargain price.
#42 Cuckoo in the Nest (1970) [30m]-
A brash Australian called Arthur turns up claiming to be Albert’s long-lost elder son.
#43 Men of Letters (1972) [30m]-
The vicar calls, asking for an article on rag and bone men for the church magazine.
#44 A Star is Born (1972) [30m]-
Harold joins an amateur dramatics group, but unfortunately, it is Albert who steals the show.
#45 Oh, What a Beautiful Mourning (1972) [30m]-
Albert’s brother dies and lots of grasping relatives turn up to the funeral hoping to be left something in his will.
#46 Live Now, P.A.Y.E Later (1972) [30m]-
A tax inspector arrives to investigate Albert’s claim for an allowance for his dead wife.
#47 Loathe Story (1972) [30m]-
Harold tries to kill Albert whilst sleepwalking and has to visit a psychiatrist.
#48 Divided We Stand (1972) [30m]-
Harold and Albert cannot agree on a redecoration scheme, so decide to partition the house and each have their own space.
#49 The Desperate Hours (1972) [30m]-
The Steptoes are visited by two escaped convicts.
#50 The Party (1973) [30m]-
Albert is looking forward to another family Christmas but Harold wants to go to Majorca.
#51 Back in Fashion (1974) [30m]-
A photographer and his agent come to the yard asking if they can use it as a backdrop for a model shoot.
#52 And So To Bed (1974) [30m]-
Harold spends a fortune on a new erotic waterbed.
#53 Porn Yesterday (1974) [30m]-
Harold discovers Albert’s “dirty” past.
#54 The Seven Steptoerai (1974) [30m]-
Local gangster Frankie Barrow is running a protection racket and demands money from the Steptoes.
#55 Upstairs, Downstairs, Upstairs, Downstairs (1974) [30m]-
Harold is run ragged looking after a bedridden Albert.
#56 Seance in a Wet Rag and Bone Yard (1974) [30m]-
Clairvoyant Madame Fontana holds a seance at the Steptoes.
#57 A Perfect Christmas (1974) [30m]-
Harold wants to go to Switzerland for Christmas, but as usual, Albert is not keen.